I've had it y'all. I can't compete with the terrible manners of the world. No one cares to be nice anymore, so as they say- if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Today I wore white pants. I did not send my Grandmother a thank you note for the Easter flowers. And I don't plan on ever writing another one again. I flipped off everyone in traffic this morning if they even thought about getting in my way. I smoked a cigarette outside a daycare. I ate a Lean Cuisine out of the company refrigerator that said "Elizabeth" on it. And then blamed it on the new girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to post a 6 paragraph rant on Facebook describing my disdain for whatever politician you like the most. Just because I can. Then I'm going to talk on my cell phone LOUDLY on the treadmill for at least 45 minutes. And when you give me the side eye, I'm going to talk louder and talk about my bowel movements. Last but not least, I'm going to Shoe Station to buy myself some white shoes. Suck it nerds.
April Fools!
Y'all know I would never wear white shoes in a million years. Gross.
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