Ahhh, Facebook… Twitter… Pinterest… What did we do all day
before discovering these little ditties. Oh yeah, we worked! We also didn’t
know that that floozy from high school totally got married before we did, and
did you know Mary Ellen had another baby? I saw it on Facebook!
The power of social media. When used correctly, it can be a
lot of fun. You can post pictures of all your friends celebrating birthdays,
you can tell the world that you Vote Republican and Junior pooped in the
potty!!! Wait… what? That’s calling oversharing, folks. And we’re all guilty of
it thanks to living in a world where we’re told our every opinion matters.
Don’t like your Governor? Guess what, tweeting about it 50
times a day will do nothing to get him out of office. It will probably get you
hidden or un-followed. How amazing is that “Hide from my Newsfeed” option?!
Bravo Facebook! Now let’s work on getting that dislike button… One of the most wonderful things about this
world is that each and every one of us is different. How boring would life be
if we all looked and thought exactly the same way? Keep this in mind while scrolling
through your Facebook feed. Just because Donnie Democrat posted a video or a
news article that you don’t agree with, doesn’t mean you need to immediately
launch into a verbal attack on how dumb his opinions are in the comment
section. That is one of the most obnoxious things in the world. You are not
going to change someone’s opinion by arguing with them. Remember the whole
Chick-fil-a debacle? You want to know what that accomplished? Jackshit. If you
don’t support gay marriage, fine. If you do, then just politely stay away from
that fast food joint. It’s fucking fried chicken people! You know where I got
my fried chicken that week? Popeyes. You know who they support? The Saints. Who
dat.
The same goes for rival college football teams. Here in the
South, it is big business to know who cheers for what team. I hate Auburn
football with a passion, but I definitely do not make it my business to post
“YOU SUCK” on every Auburn fan’s status during football season. It’s stupid.
Get a life. If you feel that you cannot restrain yourself from talking smack,
then stay away from social media on game days. Cheer for your team, celebrate
big wins! And refrain from relishing in other team’s losses… at least in
public. You can gloat all you want in your house. But remember, you didn’t win
that game. You sat on your ass eating cheese dip and Guthrie’s chicken fingers.
The only boys who get to gloat are dressed in pads, and Coach Saban only gives
them 24 hours before it’s time to get over it and focus on next week.
Don’t even get me started on people who claim their football
team is “classier” than that other football team. Give me a break. There is
nothing classy about SEC Football. It’s a bunch of big dudes knocking the shit
out of each other, while we all chug bourbon and cheer in the stands. If you
want “class,” got check out a Regatta at the Yacht Club and sip brandy with
Buffy.
So try and treat Social Media much like a dinner party- all
topics can be fun, but leave politics and religion out of it. If your Uncle
Bobby is running for Mayor, then by all means, post some reminders to go vote
for Uncle Bobby! And if there is an
issue coming up for vote that you just feel absolutely passionate about, and
you feel like you need to share, just remember that not everyone shares your
opinion. And that’s ok. Don’t argue
with them, and don’t call them dumb for disagreeing with you.
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